Where do I even begin?

A) It’s called “The Squeakquel”. What, was Alvin and the Chipmunks : Part Deux-Deux already taken?

B) Why does the geeky chipmunk in glasses have to have a female match with glasses? What? Player can’t score a normal chic just because he’s nearsighted? I smell a lawsuit from The American Federation of Players With Glasses*.

C) Why the hell is Theodore holding up that blunt? Maybe it’s subliminal message to parents of what they may need to suffer through this crapfest. Just a little something for daddy to glaze his eyes over and pretend he has cataracts and can’t see. But damn those M&Ms are good.

It’s movies like this that make being a parent so hard.

* Should there somewhere, somehow actually be an American Federation of Players With Glasses then know that I thought it was fictitious and meant no harm. Also know that you belong to the dumbest organization on the planet. Well, second dumbest. There’s still a Kevin Federfline Fan Club.