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Posts Tagged ‘amy winehouse’

Those poor animals………

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Kudos to Patrick for the lavish introduction.  For those of you that do not know me, my name is Matthew Baker, Esquire.  I was the sixth member of the late 80’s boy band, New Kids on The Block.  I am a well traveled scholar, former Rock, Paper, Scissors World Champion and I get pissed when Patrick gets on my celeb-crush, Lindsay Lohan. You can also read my blog here.  I may not be as ANGRY as Patrick, but I will assure you, I am twice as handsome.  We both love to screw with those that are “screwed”, so here goes.

I am not a supporter of PETA by no means.  I mean I judge cruelty as that.  CRUELTY!  Eating a steak dinner?  Not cruel.  Taking your Labrador to Michael Vick’s house for a party?  I have to wonder.  However, I read a story last Friday that made me cringe when I think of the cruelty these animals must have been faced with.

It seems that Amy Winehouse has been banned from taking in anymore stray dogs at her luxurious Cotton Bay Condo in St. Lucia.  As I read the story, I became honestly concerned for these animals.  The owners of the resort had to have Winehouse’s room fumigated to get rid of the FLEAS!  The article did not come right out and say who or what was responsible for the flea problem, but judging from the “pre-stray dog” photo above…………I think I know.  Winehouse should be punished to the fullest extent of the law!   I mean, the dogs had not received any of their vaccinations.  There is no telling what Miss Winehouse exposed these animals to (on top of infecting them with fleas).

I must say that I was pleased with the owners of the resort for stepping up and telling Amy not to bring in anymore dogs.  It is obvious that the owners were sensitive to the well-being of these defenseless animals and didn’t want anymore to suffer.

As for the dogs that were under her protection responsibility spell at the time of the ban, I feel quite sure they have been admitted to some kind of Canine Rehab Center to kick their newly formed drug addictions followed by a flea dip of epic proportions.

This just in…….”Drunk Diving ban for Amy Winehouse“.

“She’s regularly drinking large quantities of wine and rum and no one in her condition should be going anywhere near water.”

There is someone, somewhere, in St. Lucia that would argue that point.

-Esquire

Greatest Waste of Time Ever

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

amy winehouse lego

I love Amy Winehouse’s music, however, I think Amy Winehouse is probably what Gonorrhea would be if it evolved into human form.  I’m pretty sure the military is working right now to create a biological weapon from her blood.

But as whacked out as I think she is, this guy is even worse.

News and Magazines are reporting that UK model maker craig stevens used 12,500 lego pieces to create a life-size figure of Amy Winehouse.

Need I say more?

Yes, I do.

Are you frickin kidding me? How long did it take you to make that, Craig? You could have built a sand castle out of your own doo doo and it would have made more sense than that.

Did you use a few green legos around the sexy parts that symbolized infections? A few black ones on her arms for track marks? Did you make sure to use some white legos around her mouth to get that “Oh So Classic Crackhead” look that Dave Chappelle perfected?

Craig, Amy Winehouse is a strung out, junkie. You sir, did this completely sober.

You’re an idiot.

I can’t wait to see your Tinker Toy version of The Olsen Twins.

Asswipe.

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