You think it’s tough to run a business in the USA, check this out. There’s a company in Australia who is beating the bad economy by selling specialty paper. What’s so special about it you ask? Well, for starters it’s made from Wombat poop. The manager says, “When we’re boiling it, it does smell horrific but once it’s been sterilized and rinsed, it gives you a nice, organic scent.”
Are you frickin kidding me?
A nice organic scent? Come on man, it’s 2009 and we can’t even get something in a gas station bathroom that filters the smell of ass and you’re gonna try to sell me on the phrase “nice, organic scent”? That’s like calling Amy Winehouse a Chemical inhalation Specialist! First of all, who the hell was sitting around and thinking, man I wonder if I can make paper from this hot, steamin pile of wombat doo doo. How does your brain even come to that point?
Second of all, can you imagine if you went on a job interview and they told you’re job would be boiling wombat nuggets all day? I have to imagine that Turd Boiler is not an easy job to fill. You gotta be pretty hard up to say yes to that one.
And finally, who the hell are you gonna write a note to on that paper? Because nothing says I love you like a note on a recycled turd. You want to give your lady something “organic” , why go second hand? Why not just take a piece of paper and wipe your ass with it and write the note when it dries out.
The bottom line: You can wrap it in festive paper, put a bow on and call it a Yule log but in the end…a turd in a bow is still a turd.
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