Gene Simmons has issued the following update via his website:
“Yep. For all of you who have always wanted to pee on my face! Now you can. A&E has put Gene Simmons Family Jewels urinal cakes throughout the country, featuring my face on the cakes”
he goes on to say,
“Please leave the urinal cake in the pee hole for others to enjoy. Reports have come in that some of you have been stealing ‘em.”
Well now that’s just good marketing right there.
Are you frickin kidding me?
First it was Dr Pepper and now urinal cakes? I guess next you’ll be on QVC hawking herbal remedies for erectile dysfunction. Or how about the all new Kiss denture adhesive and adult diapers. Now you can karaoke Beth and hang a monkey tail at the same time. Dude, you are Gene frickin Simmons. Get a damn hold of yourself. Otherwise, you’re gonna have to stop painting those pointy things on your eyes and start painting little nozzles on there because you are turning into one big ass douche.
And as for the people that have been stealing them… you GOTTA be frickin kidding me. You’re reaching…into…a …place ..where….dudes….drain….the….big-vain. Hell, Megan Fox could have written her phone number on one of those urinal cakes and I wouldn’t reach in there to get it. Alright, that’s a lie. I’d bob for that like it was in a barrel of apples. But the point is that if you reach into a urinal to get a souvenir, you’re an idiot.
Maybe if you’re lucky the next time KISS is in town you can just hang outside the tout bus and when they empty the toilet tank you can fish out a gen-u-ine Gene Simmons floater.